Let me give you a constructed situation.
But there is a lesson in it and much for you to think about.
Herbert considered himself a very lucky man.
That was before.
He was in his seventies and well off. Very well off. He owned companies and invested in other companies and had the Midas touch.
What he did not have was love in his life.
Till he met Alicia.
Alicia was a good four decades younger and drop dead gorgeous. He married her and his lawyer insisted on a pre-nuptial agreement.
Alicia was intelligent and caring. She was a good cook and there was always food in the house. She did not like eating out and he, also, loved dinners with her in their splendid mansion. She was intelligent and could, and did, engage him in conversation on various topics and push him into intellectual realms he was foreign to.
She was a good hostess when he had business dinners at their house. She packed his bag when he had to travel. She made his medical appointments and ensured he took his medications. She pushed him to work out regularly and introduced him to Yoga.
Their sex life was non-existent and he regretted that but there was nothing he could do about it. He just did not have the desire any more.
Then one of his prospective partners in a large deal ran a background check on him. And he shared the report of the private investigator with Herbert.
Alicia was having an affair. She was discreet. She went out after he left for work and returned before he did. And she always came back in time to make dinner.
Herbert’s blood boiled over. How could she do this to him?
He confronted her. She did not deny it. She did not justify it.
Herbert stormed out and went to his lawyer. “Cut her off from my will,” he screamed. “Give her what we agreed to in the pre-nup and not a penny more. Tell her I will break her with legal fees if she tries to get more. And get me a divorce.”
His attorney called him a few days later. “You are an idiot,” he told Herbert. “You don’t deserve a woman like Alicia.”
It turned out that she had agreed to the divorce. She waived her right to the alimony stipulated in the pre-nup. She did not want his money. She would leave the house in a week as soon as she finished packing her personal belongings. She wished Herbert well and hoped he would find the peace he was seeking.
“You were so happy a week ago,” his lawyer said. “What made you throw it all away?”
“She betrayed me,” said Herbert angrily. And sorrowfully.
“You have a problem,” said his attorney. “You think she is ‘yours’ and that you therefore have a right to dictate her behavior. Change your mental model. Go back and beg her to remain. She just may forgive you.”
Was Herbert betrayed? What do you think?
Ponder this: Whenever you think of something or somebody as ‘yours’, you invite no end of trouble into your life.
Peace!
