In my blog last week, I wrote about a student who felt that living without expectations would make life insipid and even meaningless.
She belongs to a school that holds that ups and downs are the spice of life and you should try to arrange it so that the ups are more and longer lasting than the downs.
She most certainly believed that one should have expectations of those who are near and dear.
That blog obviously touched a chord because I received many responses. Here is one from a student who framed a very thoughtful reply. She nailed it and I am sharing it with you because I think you will find it useful.
I believe that my parents, children and friends will send me wishes on my birthday because I know that I have built deep meaningful relationships with them. But I do not hold an expectation of them on that day in the way of keeping score. As the day passes, I am not waiting to see if they live up to an expectation. In fact, sometimes I have even forgotten that it is my birthday. And if I get to the end of the day and they have forgotten me, I think, ah well, my mother (before she passed) is very forgetful and I should have dropped a small hint that my birthday was coming because she will feel terrible that she has forgotten. My friends have busy lives, and they will remember me soon. It does not make me sad or angry or value their relationships less. I choose to be happy and fulfilled in these relationships and accept each person as they are.
I will say more about expectations and how they poison the well in coming weeks.
Peace!
